It WAS going to be impossible for me to forgive this group of people who hurt me. There was so much fall out and pain there was no way my heart could muster up forgiveness. However, I did know, deep down in my heart’s most intimate space, that God said, “with Me, all things are possible.” So with that one thread of hope, I held on to it and set out to forgive these people. There were 5 things I did. Again, I have to disclaim that I am not a professional. Just a girl with a blog. But this worked for me. How do I know? Because my counselor told me that my heart will know it has forgiven when it gets to a place where it can look at the perpetrators and say, “I wish you well.” And that came to be. And still is, today.
- Prayed, daily for my pain and for the ones who caused it. Yes, I literally prayed for them. Eventually, pain and angry can’t exist in a heart that is praying for the ones who caused it.
- Counseling. Period.
- Journaled, daily. I had major diarrhea of thoughts. Crazy thoughts. Irrational thoughts. Hateful thoughts. Hopeless thoughts. Confused thoughts. But why carry that around all day in my brain if I could spill it out on paper. This was huge.
- Professed, daily, an undeniable truth I had known all my life (but hadn’t applied til this time): Since Jesus forgives me for the pain I cause Him, and Jesus is in my heart, than together, we can (and will) forgive the sins others have committed against us.
- I read “Choosing Forgiveness” by Nancy DeLeigh Moss, “Forgive and Forget” by Lewis Smedes, and “Exquisite Agony” by Gene Edwards. These were game-changers.
I know this list is short and simple. But forgiving people who have hurt you is not. It took me a couple of years to forgive fully. But I did. And I believe in you that you can too.