Forgiving is a hard thing to do–that all of us at some point– have to do. A few years ago, I had to forgive. And now that I can truly say I have, here are 5 things I did to get there:

  1. Counseling – sometimes the pain is so big, deep and wide that we need someone to walk through it with us.
  2. Prayer – Daily praying for the person(s) who hurt me because if I’m praying for them, it’s hard to be cursing them.
  3. Read books. “Choosing Forgiveness” “Exquisite Agony” “Total Forgiveness” and “Think No Evil: Inside the Story of the Amish Schoolhouse Shooting…and Beyond” were helpful for my healing.
  4. Set a goal. My goal (per the awesome suggestion of my counselor) was to get my HEART to the point where it could say, “I wish them well.” Forgiveness does NOT necessarily mean restoring the relationship but it does mean restoring your heart.
  5. Cry and ask. I cried and asked God, “Why?” a lot. God became my very good friend during my time of healing and forgiving (and He still is!). I had a lot of tears, pain and confusion. I learned that there was NOBODY who could understand, handle & help more than God.

I hope this encourages someone today. If you are working through this, I’d love to pray for you as you do. Shoot me an email any time, to

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