Several years ago, someone hacked into my online accounts, deleting them from the Internet without a trace. Back then, I was running an online ministry (of sorts) that included a blog, Gmail, twitter and Facebook under the name, “LeadHership.” In the days that ensued, I neglected my priorities as I obsessed to get it all restored. But it would not be. It was unretrievable. In all that haze, one thing was becoming clear: I needed closure. And (for me) that would only be through one way: forgiveness. The kind of forgiveness that hurts before it heals and doesn’t happen at microwave-speed but crock-pot speed! As I look back, there were (approx) 5 things I did to forgive…
1) Christian Therapy. Forgiveness is straining, stanky and messy. The therapist office is where we can proverbially projectile-vomit without having to clean it up or put it back in.
2) Prayer. Even if it was a simpleton-prayer like, “Lord you love them. Help me.” A God-heart will prevail in a hurt-heart, if the currents of prayer are running through it.
3) Read. “Choosing Forgiveness,” “Exquisite Agony,” “Total Forgiveness,” and “Forgive and Forget” were healing salves, in paperback.
4) Set a goal. My goal (thanks to my Christian therapist) was to get my HEART to the point where it could say to the hurter, “I wish you well.”
5) Ask Jesus. I had a lot of questions no one had answers to. But Jesus (who asked “why?” in Matthew 27) knew what it was like. Since He resides in my heart—I knew He was closer to my “why’s” than anyone on the outside.
So on a crock-pot slowwwwww setting, eventually God helped my heart get to a place where it could wish the hurter well; let go of “LeadHership” (which was actually His in the first place!) and slowly stir up something new…or should I say wondherful? 😉