dark days, holy nights
It’s no contest, my #1 favorite Christmas song is “O Holy Night.” This holiday season, my church has performed it twice—thank you, Amy Evans and Anthony Evans! This line gets me every time, “Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the Angels’ voices.” To fall on your knees to adore, catch your balance or pray is not a comfortable posture. It isn’t attractive and it’s kinda awkward. Perhaps because it shows humility, desperation or both. In 2010, I battled through multiple valleys of depression. Ugh. I hate to even revisit it. Among the things it adversely affected, was my morning quiet time. That daily discipline rendered futile because I didn’t know what to pray and didn’t feel like reading my Bible. My journal would go weeks without entries. But like praying on your knees can appear desperate, I was desperate. It’s during this season, I began to pray on my knees. It was weird at first, but I slowly found it to be the most comforting moment in my day. Sometimes, the sunbeams would radiate through the window just right that I could feel them on my back while praying on my knees. It felt like God was hugging me. Though depression can debilitate us horizontal in bed, praying on my knees got me half way to standing up into a new day. This Christmas, if it’s hard to sing “Fa La La La La, La La La La” take a line from “O Holy Night” and try it. Maybe it’s just the Christmas gift you needed.