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Barfing On People

When I was bad in college, my friend and I headed back from partying in Chicago when she complained she was feeling the repercussions of the chicken salad, grape laffy-taffy and “beverage” she had.  As things like this go (i.e., without warning) she lost control of her stomach and barfed all over my dashboard, passenger window, and (fabric!) passenger door.  We got back to the dorm, but it was so late, I was so tired and it was a freezing Chicago winter night, that I left the car the way it was, windows rolled up. The next day, when I opened it, I was bulldozed by the most atrocious odor ever—a pungent stank that could peel paint off walls, a toupee off a man, a shell off a turtle. Segue, please: It stinks when people barf all over you.  Literally and figuratively.  One of the things I’ve learned over the years through my mistakes, is to not barf all over people.  I used to be fooled by the fallacy that friendships were built by barfing every crisis, trial, drama, and detail to each other.  SO not so.  You see, humans aren’t capable of handling their own life-trauma and drama AS WELL AS OURS. It’s just too much for one finite being. So Jesus came and said, “Come to ME when you are weary” (Matthew 11:28)The first thing to do when we are feeling the repercussions of our drama or woes, is to give it to God, first. Just like Jesus did. When Jesus was having his worst day ever in the garden, the Gospels teach us he went to God, first (Matthew 26). His friends weren’t capable of handling it. The bible says they even fell asleep on their friend Jesus! Our friends can’t always handle our barf. And thankfully, if we walk with God, they don’t have to. PS: I haven’t been able to eat grape laffy-taffy since. 🙂

8 Words ThatChanged Me

Several years ago, my Christian counselor shared this verse with me: Psalm 138:8: “The LORD will perfect that which concerns me.” It didn’t change my life but it DID change my thought life. Perhaps because it was *only* eight words with such significant punch. This verse tells me that I am not able to do anything, perfect. But the things that worry/concern/scare me—-I don’t have to—-because God will. I highlighted it in my bible, I wrote it down on a piece of paper and carried it with me, and I memorized it. And during tough moments, I whispered it to God as a prayer. I can’t tell you how much this verse means to my mind during uncertain times. I’m sharing it, because maybe you are in an uncertain time. I hope this verse offers your mind what it gave and continues to give mine.

New Year, New You

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) This is one of my favorite verses for a new year. Actually, it’s a verse, a life-goal, a mental-health axiom, and a prayer, all in one enchilada! Lemme break it down…
*For I KNOW*
God knows. God knows already what 2018 has for you and me. The bible teaches that he’s recorded our days before our very first day. So if God KNOWS what 2018 holds, I release myself from being a predictor of it. I don’t need a horoscope, an appointment, a dream-weaver, or a fortuneteller. I have everything I need in God KNOWING and I don’t have to pay him. Rather, HE paid his life for me. He made me, He knows me, I trust Him.
*They ARE Plans For GOOD*
Does this mean that in 2018 bad things can happen? Yep. And if I were a betting man, I’d say bad things probably will. But with God, and this promise, bad can happen but GOOD can come from it. How? By sticking with God. When we stick with God, God can bring good from bad. How can He do that? He’s God, and He is love and that is what love does. God already wrote my story. Until my story ends, it doesn’t mean I won’t have bad chapters, it just means bad chapters will eventually end in good results. God is good, and if we are with God, we are held in His goodness.

I hope this encourage you as you head into your new year – God has good plans in store!


Sometimes We HaveTo Love, Solo

Recently, I read about the time  Jesus washed the feet of his disciples.  I learned something great about Jesus, and not-so-great about myself. Jesus often loved, solo. When he knelt down to do the lowly, the dirty, he often did so by himself.  He didn’t have to. He chose to. Love is a choice.  Jesus could have asked one of his disciples to wash his feet. He could have asked the disciples to help him wash their feet. But He was secure enough to love, solo. I wonder if I’ve missed opportunities to love because I didn’t have the security to love, solo? It’s human nature to run in packs. Girls don’t even go to the bathroom, solo.  But Jesus did something else, solo. He didn’t have anyone take his place, and He didn’t ask others to join him. He suffered and died on a cross, solo. I think some of the most loving acts are loving when no one else will.  What do we get out of it? Sometimes, nothing.  A few years ago, my husband didn’t align with a group when they casted me aside. It cost Raul a lot to love me, solo. Love does that.  The bible says “Greater love has no MAN (not cliques, entourages, small groups, squads or teams) than this, than he lay down his life for a friend.”  Sometimes, love means going solo. But know this, you’re never more like Jesus than when you do.

Joy to the World, and Me,and a Chocolate Fountain

I don’t know how I remember this, but when we lived in Bowling Green, Ohio, I was eight years old when I went to Vacation Bible School at Plain Congregational Church. That summer, I learned an acronym I haven’t forgotten 30+ years later: J.O.Y. – (J)esus, first; (O)thers, second; (Y)ou, last. I always took it to mean, “back of the line, back of the bus, back of the room, back of the class, if you wanna chance at being happy.” Lately, after hearing “Joy to the World,” on my Christmas playlist, I’ve been thinking about that acronym.  Yes, Jesus comes first. It’s biblical. As a matter of fact, it’s so biblical it’s in the Top Ten of all times, eternally holding first place: “You shall have no other gods before me.” As a matter of fact, the second is biblical too: “regard others as more important than yourselves.” I am a visual learner and love illustrations, metaphors, parallels and props (like Jesus, with figs, sticks, sheep). Instead of thinking of this acronym as some exclusive natural order where only the doormats, spineless, weak or boneless have a chance for joy, I’ve had a radical change in visual!  Several years ago, my friends dared me to stick my face in a chocolate fountain. I did. Selfishly benefiting from all the sugary goodness in my (literal) face.  Yea. And that’s my new visual for J.O.Y. You see, God pours amazing stuff from the tippy-top of His throne in Heaven, onto His Son Jesus, first. Then, trickling to the second tier for everyone I serve and put before me. But then? It trickles to the bottom tier–the biggest tier–containing, absorbing, even overflowing with this amazing goodness of his glory. So is it good to put Jesus first and others second and us last? It depends on how we see it. But this week, seeing it this way truly is bringing joy to the world…and me. I hope this encourages someone.


My Version of “Twas the Night” (in poem)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my town, as the stockings went up, the sun came down. The trees were getting trimmed, the smell of pine near. It was Christmas now, was Thanksgiving even here? My kids sensed something fun in the air Yet I struggled with something that didn’t seem fair. In the midst of shopping, snow and fun, I wondered what it was like for a hurting kind of one. Ole’ St. Nick had a better view of my busy, boomin’ town. From the Pole, he saw every face I was around. He saw a single gal at Starbucks all alone. A child at our mall, avoiding his home. The moon was rising, night came on fast, But from the Pole, he could still see thru glass. “That family, in the gated home, you think has it all? “Not true. Thru their windows there is only a wall.” “The bagger at the store? Today with no reply?” “Not one person spoke to him, not even a sigh.” “And on the expressway with a line of cars” “Was a man in a tollbooth, a soul with a scar.” “And at the intersections of those major traffic lights? “They are homeless with hearts, not beggars of plight.” So may I offer a suggestion with this festive affair? Hoping my message conveys because I care. If there’s a thing inside, a holiday ache, Stop for a moment, cause it’s a nudge…take a break. My view’s the North Pole, but God’s view is MORE precise. Loving by what He sees, because He doesn’t have to think twice. This season, He implores, “Please help from where you are.” At Starbucks, the grocery store, when you’re in your car. Sure, at Christmas, as God, I could reach down & help nearby. But I’d like to partner with you, if you’d give it a try?” “Let’s slow down and make the season a journey. You’re made in my image, with love there’s no hurry. When in a store parking lot, take your cart to the man, Tell him thanks and go ahead, why not, smile, shake his hand. Dining at the Pancake house, ask your server for more–More about her life, and what her future has in store. I think you get the idea, tis the season, to have Christmas and to give without reason. But you know the last line; don’t forget this word, alright? It’s: Merry Christmas to ALL …because all deserve a good night.

Three To-Do’s for the Christmas Blues

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year! But this time of year can also yield bouts of depression, or “blues” for people. I’ve had the Christmas blues before; and it’s not that I wasn’t thankful for Christmas. Rather, I had thankfulness and sadness at the same time. If you are having the blues, here are three things I’ve done. I am not a professional, just someone on a journey, sharing my story.

1️⃣ Consider Christian counseling in December. If you go once a week, that equates to four sessions. It’s probably the best Christmas gift you could give yourself because you are giving yourself the gift of release and peace. Don’t have the resources this time of year? Then when asked what you want for Christmas, tell them a 4-pack counseling session. If it’ll bring joy to you, it’ll bring joy to them to give it.
2️⃣ Go to Church. One of the hardest things to see is someone who tells me that can’t go to church because they’re sad. This can not be! The FIRST place we should run to in our sadness is God’s hospital. There is a supernatural, healing, holistic experience awaiting you that ONLY God can offer. Yes you will have to miserably drag yourself there, but I promise, you will leave better than you came.
3️⃣ Give. Give, give, give, give, give. Give old clothes to the homeless, give donations to your church, give time to the elderly, give free babysitting to a single mom, give volunteer hours. It’s true that it’s more blessed to give than to receive…I would also add…it’s more healing. It’s the ultimate paradox: giving away fills up. And that’s just what an “empty” soul needs–a fill-up. I hope this encourages someone today. May you know His peace.

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